But advisers should also be aware of how they treat graduate students.
Unfortunately, the stigma around mental illness means that many students don’t seek help. Seriously, when I first heard someone say that, I thought it was a joke. One guy said it was because there were a lot more women than men in his program. And a third fellow said it was because people work on similar projects and automatically have common interests.
Must judges and senators be romantically involved only with people of similar status? But if a 22-year-old graduate student gets involved with a 24-year-old teaching assistant or a 28-year-old assistant professor, and I think that's much more likely, that relationship is also prohibited by university policy." Why do companies have such policies? Universities, in contrast, generally present the policies as an attempt to prevent status abuse, he said.
"Do I think it's wise for an 18-year-old to be involved with a 40-year-old? Many of the country's premier universities, including Yale and the University of California, prohibit faculty-student romance, with the penalty of possible termination for faculty who violate the policy.
He’s taking online classes and collaborating on a startup, but doesn’t plan to finish his degree.
This doesn’t bother me, or adversely affect the relationship.
Since I won’t ever have a tenure-track job, I feel it’s my moral obligation to put some giant, flashing warning signs around the bad advice that perfectly well-meaning people might offer to graduate students. Depression is normal among doctoral students, so you should just tough it out/exercise more/throw yourself into your work/do some yoga. Shine notes that her advisers discouraged medical leave, but that’s only one way that grad school can take a toll on students.
Sadly, depression is common in grad school—or at least it’s common enough to be a fairly large concern. It can be a socially isolating experience, made worse by the financial strain of low pay, loan payments looming in the future, and the fear of never getting a tenure-track job.
Katie Rose Guest Pryal’s regular column on Vitae gives a lot of excellent advice on how to treat your colleagues fairly if they have psychiatric disabilities.
"Whom you love is a deeply intimate choice that you should be free to make yourself without restrictions placed by your employer, as long as the relationship is consensual.
You should be as free to pursue such an intimate choice as you are to pursue your religious beliefs or your free speech." In the best of all worlds, Abramson said, every couple would consist of partners of equal status, power and attractiveness in an equal partnership.
Beyond that, some schools have specific rules about what to do if a student and a professor want to pursue a romantic relationship.
If that's the case at your institution, know that the answer to your dating question lies in the faculty and/or student handbook.